How to expound on this place I've found myself in.
I'm in love with the most amazing human that I've ever met.
I thought there would be trepidation. Fear quaking at the center of me. Worries spilling into my grey matter at night and causing me bizarre visions in my sleep. What I thought were loving relationships from my past have always turned out .... so well.
Instead I find myself strangely at ease. The only quaking that is happening are the flutters of butterflies in my solar plexus every time I see him. I'm usually guarded about these things. A to- myself type person. I give fleeting details. fearful of judgement or outside influences. Honestly. this time.. nothing can touch it. There is no last time, or next time... because this is in a class by itself. Everything before was pretense.
For the first time in many years I'm exceptionally happy. Like disgustingly busting at the seems kind of happy. It's flat out ridiculous and I'm sure that over half of my friends feel the need to be sick when they're around me. I radiate squishy, horrible, fluffy rays of pure and utter gay that it's ridiculous. Also.. it permeates all things! I spent the majority of my Yule tide shopping hunting down the crankiest, most out of sorts retail gurus... and forcing holiday cheer on them in cheeky silly ways until they smiled and shat out their own fluffy ray of flowers and rainbows.
As a cynic and all around bitter jaded person... I'm disgusted with myself. ......... As a girl absolutely smitten it is all I want. More specifically, he is everything I had ever dreamed.
On a different note work is cranking out some interesting drama.
I'm forced to on a legal (and a covering my own ass agenda) be exceptionally vague but would like to mention it here so that I can have some memorial record of the when/wheres of this event.
I'm glad to at least have some very close and wonderful team mates to lean on and watch my back.
and still it can't bring me down.
Also, dirty confession... I really like the sound of music. not the music but the squishy tortured love story, and because Christopher Plumber was super handsome back in the day, and the last time he won an oscar he gave one of the most hilarious speeches ever.
over and out.
I'm in love with the most amazing human that I've ever met.
I thought there would be trepidation. Fear quaking at the center of me. Worries spilling into my grey matter at night and causing me bizarre visions in my sleep. What I thought were loving relationships from my past have always turned out .... so well.
Instead I find myself strangely at ease. The only quaking that is happening are the flutters of butterflies in my solar plexus every time I see him. I'm usually guarded about these things. A to- myself type person. I give fleeting details. fearful of judgement or outside influences. Honestly. this time.. nothing can touch it. There is no last time, or next time... because this is in a class by itself. Everything before was pretense.
For the first time in many years I'm exceptionally happy. Like disgustingly busting at the seems kind of happy. It's flat out ridiculous and I'm sure that over half of my friends feel the need to be sick when they're around me. I radiate squishy, horrible, fluffy rays of pure and utter gay that it's ridiculous. Also.. it permeates all things! I spent the majority of my Yule tide shopping hunting down the crankiest, most out of sorts retail gurus... and forcing holiday cheer on them in cheeky silly ways until they smiled and shat out their own fluffy ray of flowers and rainbows.
As a cynic and all around bitter jaded person... I'm disgusted with myself. ......... As a girl absolutely smitten it is all I want. More specifically, he is everything I had ever dreamed.
On a different note work is cranking out some interesting drama.
I'm forced to on a legal (and a covering my own ass agenda) be exceptionally vague but would like to mention it here so that I can have some memorial record of the when/wheres of this event.
I'm glad to at least have some very close and wonderful team mates to lean on and watch my back.
and still it can't bring me down.
Also, dirty confession... I really like the sound of music. not the music but the squishy tortured love story, and because Christopher Plumber was super handsome back in the day, and the last time he won an oscar he gave one of the most hilarious speeches ever.
over and out.
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