Continued.


     James turned the corner trying to keep his composure.  somewhere between skipping and running away in a hurry, he turned the nearest corner and stopped.  Closing his eyes he leaned back against the rough brick wall and tilted his face up to the sunlight.  He slowly replayed the entire scene through his mind. He kicked himself for all the things that he could have said.  All the things he wanted to... all the things he'd preconceived nights, days and weeks before.  Some of them were barely coherent lingering thoughts of when he was still feathered, some of them the vivid sharp and well composed things of his person. "You're a fool." He muttered to himself and pushed off from the wall and meandered back onto the sidewalk.

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     Stephanie was knocked from her reverie  by the sounds of her co-workers arguing in the back. Frank raising his voice was such an oddity that she wasn't quite sure what was happening at first.  She burst through the double doors to the back of the bakery to see Raquel standing on her tip toes pointing her finger in Franks face, red cheeked with tears welling up in her eyes. Frank was squinting his eyes, silently daring her to make another mistake.
     "Hey!" Stephanie surprised herself.  The voice coming out of her was strong. Immediate. Intense.  Both of the offending parties turned and looked at them. Frank immediately softened but Raquel's eyes were sharp. Focused. Falcon's eyes.  Her full lips were pressed into a tight line on her face. Her hand was still clenched in a fist with one trembling finger pointing at Frank's face.
     "And you..." Raquel's voice was low. Dark. Promising a storm. "You're only ever half here anyhow.   Frank can't help but try to get his dick in that chastity belt of yours."  Steph's Jaw hit the floor.  What in the hell had just happened in here.
     "I don't know what I just walked in on."  Steph took a deep breath before she continued. "But I'd advise you to take a moment. Maybe a whole handful of fucking moments, before you speak again." Stephanie's cold blue eyes zeroed in on Raquel's face.  "I haven't done anything to you, and I don't know what you and Frank have been up to back here, but leave me out of it. You understand?" She watched as Raquel slowly unclenched her fist and blinked as if ever so slightly coming to her senses.
     "To hell with you both. I quit." Her voice was more defeat than anything now.  Too ashamed just to let it blow over and pretend she hadn't just blown her top. "I don't need either of you." She untied her half apron, balled it up and threw it right in Frank's face. "And you can pull it out your ass old man." She turned on her heel and left, slamming the back door.
     "Now..." she turned her ice cold eyes on Frank. "What in the hell was that about?" She raised her eyebrows and looked over at him just as he was trying to pull an innocent look out of his hat.  "Don't even try..." She tried to sound stern but it ended with her expression softening in a smile. She could never stay mad at the man.
     " I caught her pulling from the till. Not a big deal, she said she was flipping her tips from ones to big bills, but the last coupla weeks, we've been five and ten, sometimes fifteen short.  Told her I couldn't have unaccounted hands going in and out...  " Frank gave a heavy sigh and ran his thick bakers hands across his hair. "It could be her. It could be any of the other kids too... I guess she took it personal man."  His faded Jersey accent fluttering back in. He must really be upset.  Only other time it comes back is after too many shots of Jack down at the bar.
     "Let her be pissed for awhile. She'll talk it out with Lindsay or one of the other girls and feel like an asshole.  I'm sure she'll come back. If not, she wasn't meant to be." She strode over to his side and gave him a hug. "Don't let it get you down because you were doing the right thing." She gave a half shrug and plucked Raquel's apron from where it half hung from his arm. "Help me get this dump shined up will ya?" She said tugging him by his apron towards the back. "Besides, we can call Phillip in to help out this evening.  Wasn't he looking for any loose shifts?"
     Frank screwed up his face. "I don't really like that kid." He made this wavy motion with his hands. She'd learned over the years of knowing him that it meant he wasn't one hundred percent on something. 'half and half hands' she called them.  "Somethings not right about him."
      "He's an okay kid. Just dark around the edges.  Some folks are." Steph shook her head a little bit. "You're always  looking for trouble Frankie." She tossed him a couple of rags and watched him wipe down the stainless counter while she went to clean the baking sheets. "Give him a few years to find himself you know?"
     Frank bowed his head over his work, scrubbing extra hard at some invisible spots on the surface of the counter.  It's true that he'd been over protective of Steph since he met her. Instantly in love.  Not lust. Not even physical really. Just instantly, he knew that his life wouldn't be the same if she wasn't in it.  They'd gone on a date which was awkward and fumbling.  He didn't even try for a kiss.  And all of a sudden she was his best friend. Someone he needed around. That he wanted to talk to. For a guy like him, that was rare enough. He'd been furious when Raquel said what she did.  Never had an urge to hit a lady before. Hell, She was barely out of diapers, but the urge had been there that time.  Not like that Phillip Kid.  He stole a glance in Stephanie's direction, instantly feeling a pang of guilt.  She didn't know. He hadn't told her.  Now he was too afraid to say anything. What was there to say? He caught Phillip staring her down. Between the double doors. Out of the back door.  From behind the counter. Always where she couldn't see him. Always with this look on his face. He cornered Phillip one day. The kid snapped a photo on his phone and he lost it. Shoved the kid against the wall. Told him if he was gonna creep on the women in the shop that he was out of a job. No more problems yet, but he couldn't trust him.   Frank shook his head. "We're gonna call Lisa instead.  I think she said she needed some extra Dough."  Frank laughed at his own joke and threw the rags in the maintenance sink across the room.  Stephanie rolled her eyes.

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     The wind threw a serious updraft at Milane and it whizzed and wheezed through the gaps in his flight feathers. It was a cold and angry sound, pushing him from side to side.  Two days.  He'd made himself stay away from her for two days.  Somewhat just to prove he could. Some just to prove that he wasn't obsessed. Possessed. That he was in control.  He heaved a black bird sigh which was lost on the wind before it began.  Tilting his wings into the blasted wind he cut the corner of the building and landed on the window sill.  He raised his beak to tap on the glass but something chilled him to the core. He was frozen. Avian instincts sensing that something was wrong. Some nameless, shapeless thing was waiting out in the night. Dark eyes flicking over every possible cause. The fear crept under his feathers, puckering his bird skin.  He nearly gave up, chalking it up to nerves.  He could see her through the distorted pane of glass.  Sprawled on her couch, unaware of anything happening.  Then it was there. The movement. The glint. A flash of wet light off of glasses.  The roof of the building next door.  His thoughts were a quick slip of images and sensations, urges, instincts.  Blond hair, flash of light. His wings flickered almost beyond his control, bidding him to take flight immediately.
      He turned his back to the window pane and focused his dark tempest eyes on the predator. On the thing that was hunting. The blond stranger was looking through something. A camera. Milane could see his head bob a few times, looking through the view finder then with his eyes and back again, curious about the bird.  There was a sudden shift behind him. "Milane." It was a warm soft sound.  Stephanie always sounded like this if she'd been sleeping. Dreams still hanging at the corner of her eyes. She smiled a groggy easy smile at the bird, but a panic rose in him. Away! his insides screamed. Fly away stephanie!  But of course, how could she know. He flew into the apartment in a flurry of feathers and desperation.  Launched himself in her direction, flapping his wings.  She fell on her back a good three feet away from the window, and he landed on her chest. His talons gripped the material of her sweater just above her rib cage, but to her credit she didn't squeal or swat at him, she just stared up in disbelief and didn't, for the life of her, move her hands even an inch.
     "Well someone is having quite the day aren't they" she blinked a few slow blinks and began to make a move to sit up, but he cawed at her darkly and pecked at her hands if she tried to move him.  When it became obvious that she wasn't going to let him dissuade her from moving he flapped back to the window.  The stranger was still there. Though now he was barely a distinguishable lump against the facade of the building. He cawed again. This time out the window. A Raven's warning.  A promise to that dark shadow hunting her.  He looked over his shoulder at Stephanie one last time then shoved off of the ledge and into the wind.
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     Phillip couldn't believe his luck the day he'd actually found roof access across the street from Steph's place.  He could still taste the excitement every time he pulled that memory up. Those quick glimpses of her between the curtains. He pulse would jump.  The big window by the kitchen was the easiest to see. He made himself slow his breathing down. Forced himself to concentrate.
     This one. She was exciting. Something electric about her.  He sometimes felt he could smell the blood in her veins.  Could taste in anticipation, the way fear would settle in her eyes. On her skin. The way he knew she would quiver for him. Beg for him.. if he ever got to take her the way he wanted to.  But she made him sloppy. Anxious.  That stupid faggot Frank at work nearly broke his ribs when he walked in and saw  him snapping shots of her through the double doors to the front.  He spit on the gravel of the rooftop thinking about him.  Oh the things he would do to Frank as well.  Maybe tie him up and let him watch while he unwound Steph right in front of him.  He smirked, there was merit to that idea.
     He lowered his face to the camera again and twisted the end of his telescope lens. He could see the blue flashes cast across the room from where she was watching T.V.  He willed her to move. To come to the window.  To let herself show off for him. He knew down deep that she wanted him. She always touched his hand. His shoulder. She even touched his hip one day. Flirting with him. Showing him how much she needed him. She always looked him right in the eye too. Those soft little blue orbs just calling to him. He suppressed a shiver and focused on a moving spot against the window.  A bird...a big fucking bird. He squinted through the view finder and then lifted his head trying to focus on the shape.  Just then the window opened and there she was. All soft curves and long black hair. He nearly dropped the camera off the side of the building. He lowered his face and snapped a series of shots before the bird launched itself into the apartment. He squinted and looked and waited, but he didn't see the bird again... not until it was too late.

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     Milane was on the bastard before he knew what was happening. He swooped down low and nearly touched his belly to the dark grey brick of the building on his way up.  He was an explosion of black feathers in the face of this creepy bastard. He snatched out with talons and gripped flesh, but not enough to hold onto.  The coward spun and made a grab for his camera but Milane was quicker. He circled over head then swooped down and snatched at the strap, making the man lose his grip on the thing. It bounced one good time on the lip of the rooftop before it did a quick spin right over the edge.
     He gave a loud gloating Caw, but too soon.  The Stranger was swinging his knapsack at him.  The thick canvas of the bag made heavier contact that one would assume it could. The motion swatted the bird out of the air, sprawling him out on the gravel of the rooftop.  Milane couldn't get his bearings fast enough, and before he knew it, there was a booted foot kicking him. Two kicks was all it took before Milane could get himself in a lopsided wobble, and throw himself over the side of the building.

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     Steph couldn't shake her bad day.  Raquel left her feeling hollow in the pit of her stomach.  Not so much what her former friend had said, but that absolute look of hate and disgust on her face.  She shook her head, she didn't understand people. She probably never would.
     Heaving a sigh she unlocked the door to her apartment. Fat Spanky made figure eights around her ankles as she tried like hell to push those thoughts from the back of her eyes.  Was she really that horrible of a person. Was she leading Frank on?  She threw her sweater over the arm of the sofa and bent to pay her tithings to the fluffy man of the house.  "Bet you want some noms big man." She cooed at spanky as she made her way to his food dish.
     After her 'get home' chores were done, she still couldn't shake that feeling. She glanced at the computer but the appeal wasn't there. She made a slow circle around the apartment before she settled for a beer and the remote.  She was nearly blurry eyed and half insane from reality television when she noticed Milane on the window sill.  Her heart skipped a beat she was so excited.  clumsily she set her bottle on the side table and slid over to the window and opened it. "Milane" She whispered softly.  She had tried not to startle him, but apparently failed as he came tumbling into her window all squawks and feathers.  After a few minutes he shot back out the window and she clambered to look out.
     "What the hell was.." By the time she focused on the roof top in the building across from her, all she managed to see was the silhouette of someone swatting her bird from the air, and then the small shape limping and flopping over the edge of the building and plummeting into the shadows below.  She couldn't help it. She felt it bubbling up from her chest, burning her throat on the way out.  A loud coarse scream that clawed it's way out of her.  She half crawled, half fell across the room to the door.  She slung herself out of it and pulled it tight behind her and flew down the stairs to the street.
     It felt like hours. Panic was gnawing at her stomach and the base of her spine. Where is he? She tried to be slow and methodical.  Begged herself to be steady.  That pushing to fast wouldn't help. She felt glass crunch under foot and it slowed her down. She squinted her eyes in the dark trying to make out shapes, and found a busted camera against the edge of the curb. She turned it over in her hands checking it out. The lens had been busted out and there was massive amounts of damage done to the body, she was just putting the strap of it over her shoulder before she heard it.  The sound made her heart clench and pause before beating double time in retaliation.  A low whimpering sounding caw. A croak. Milane lay on his side, his legs quivering and one very badly broken wing twitching at the joint where it met his body.  "Oh my baby." she whispered.  she knelt in the dirt and the glass of the sidewalk and as gently as she possibly could she scooped him up into the fabric of her sweater.  "Don't please don't."  she sobbed.  He'd been her only confidant for so long. What kind of asshole would do this? She said nonsense. Stupid words that had nearly no meaning. Just a soothing sound. Something to calm them both down as she made her way back to the safety of her apartment.

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more later. I'm surprised I've even kept this up. *chuckles*

Post Title

I find it bizarre that I have a person in alaska who occasionally reads my blog. 

Milane

     Stephanie reached over and clicked the button to power down her computer. The familiar mechanical lull of the fans whirring to an end comforted her as she stretched in her office chair.  She rubbed her hands over her face, the seemingly too long day, now behind her. Work. Family. Near disasters. Things around the apartment, bills piling up.  Not to mention the aching lack of a social or love life. Exasperated as it all rolled through her head she made her way to the kitchen. The faint smell of hours old coffee beckoning her.
     A familiar peck and scrape at her window caught her attention. "Milane" she grinned the word.  From behind the half fogged window pane a pair of glittering black eyes peered back. With a grunt she lifted the window open and a big black raven hopped up onto the ledge.  From the couch her fat cat Spanky yowled in low protest, but didn't bother to get up. "Hush you." she chided the cat, who of course licked a paw and chose to ignore her.
     "Welcome back mister." She held out a hand as she always did, which the raven eye'd disdainfully before pecking at her fingertip. "I know. I know" She looked at the bird again. Longing to touch those glossy blue black feathers, but gave a sigh as she made her way to the fridge. "Filet mignon tonight?" she chirped at the bird, who responded with a hop and scrape of talons against the wood of the window sill. She pulled out the left over steak and pulled apart hunks and offered them gingerly one by one to the handsome beast on her window.  He was large, even for a raven. Feathers always pristine and darker than an oil slick. blue and green highlights sliding across the surface of them. Surreal. She imagined them warm, but slick as ice.  She was  rocked from her reverie by a low gravely sound and the bird regarding her with those dark eyes. He tilted his head, pecked her fingertip again gently and in a big rush of plumage was back out the window.

     Steph sighed, feeling a familiar since of forlorn as she watched the bird dip into the alley and disappear around the side of her apartment building. Shivering as the night filtered into the room, she stood and slammed the window closed.

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     Milane dipped and rocked on the city wind. The glow of the apartment fading behind him then blinded by the garish lights of downtown.  His hunger satisfied his thoughts roll back to Stephanie.  He composed an explanation in his head, as he had done dozens of times before. "I'm not really a Crow Steph.  I'm a human with ... a condition. I've seen you down at the bakery.  You don't know it's me because you never look up" He let out a loud caw. Even as a bird it sounded bitter and full of disdain.
     A few miles across the city, Milane landed on a brick ledge outside of an open window and peered in. Lights off, furniture empty. All of his things just as he'd left them. folded. Neat. clean and in their place.  He couldn't bare to go inside yet, so he ruffled his dark feathers and nestled down against the brick and tucked his beak into his plumage against the wind.

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     Late again, but she couldn't seem to muster up that sense of urgency that usually comes with it.  She slapped the alarm clock as the snooze went off again. In a fit of defeat it clattered to the ground and she pushed her face into the pillow. "serves you right minion of doom" Her sleep slurred words muffled by her pillow, but she drug herself out of her quilts and to the bathroom to get ready for work.
     Half an hour later, the sense of urgency found her again with a fierceness. She clambered onto the bus and pushed her way to a seat near the door. Frank was going to kill her if she kept being this irresponsible. She pushed it from her mind and tucked her long dark hair into a bun, elbowing the bag lady next to her accidentally.  She muttered an apology and shot from her seat at the next stop, hopping down the stairs.  She accidentally bumped into another stranger as she fumbled with her bag as she left the bus. "I'm so sorry."  She flushed and looked down at the toes of her shoes. "Not a problem" The mans voice was gentle and warm, but she couldn't make herself look up.  She ducked down her alley way and burst through the side door, skidding on the back kitchen's tile floor. "Frank!" She called as she tossed her bag and sweater to the side and snagged her apron from the peg. "Damn it frank! I'm in"  She didn't wait for him to respond, he'd come find her.  Instead she busied herself prepping dough and putting it to the side. braiding bread and frosting cinnamon buns.
     A deep voice from the doorway popped her out of focus "I should let you be late every day"  Franks formidable frame filled the doorway as he chuckled at her. She looked up from her work and saw all the work lined up on the counter ready to go. She flushed a bit and looked down
     "Guilt will do that to a person" She blew a strand of hair out of her face and ran over and stood on her tiptoes giving Frank a kiss on the cheek. He blushed and she swiped his other cheek with flour.
     "I'd give you a walloping if you were my girl" He said sternly, but his eyes were dancing with laughter.  Frank had asked her out once before she worked at the shop. It'd been a quick and complete disaster that ended with the two of them being amazing friends. She'd do anything for him, and he'd helped her out of more than a few tight spots.
     "You wouldn't know what to do with a girl like me"  She laughed and ducked under his arm dancing out into the front room behind the counter. She wiped her hands off on her apron and gave a polite smile to Raquel, who was doing her best to serve three pushy customers at once. Raquel flashed her best coquettish smile at the three gentlemen and poured on an abundance of charm. Soon all three of them were in good spirits and laughing warmly.  "I'll bet you even wheedle a huge tip out  of all of them" Steph gave a contrived look of dismay at Raquel, who swished her hips while making an over the top flirty face at her in response.
     "They're all the same. They just want to feel doted on and special.  I'm good at that"  She winked at Steph before slipping behind the counter again "Am I good for a break?"
    "Yeah. I've got this for awhile" Other than the three gentlemen Raquel had already served, the front of the bakery was quiet.  Sunlight poured in the plate glass windows as people passed outside.  Stephanie gazed at them.  Somewhere between a warm enjoyable empathetic connection, and the ache and quiet truth that "There could just be more than that mundane life"  feeling edging around in her mind. Something unsettling. A weird tug or war seeming to happen in herself.  She let the smell of coffee and warm bread pull her back out of her strange mix of thoughts and to the task at hand as she began setting out pastries behind the glass cabinets.

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     James walked into 'the upper crust' as he had many times before.  He stopped outside of the building, looking in quietly through the window at the girl behind the counter. He watched her eyes unfocus as she lost herself in thought, and a series of quick emotions roll across her features.  He pulled his collar up in a losing battle against the city wind, and pushed the door to the shop open. "So we meet again."  He kept his voice low and easy, so as not to startle to the woman.  She slowly peered up at him from behind the counter.  A comical moment that seemed to be nothing but waves of black hair and too big blue eyes, peeking shyly up from behind the pastry display.
     "Do I know you?" She asked slowly. James blinked slowly and had to concentrate to keep his composure.  How did she not know how beautiful she was. How could she be so absolutely shy and self deprecating. He took a breath.
     "We bumped into each other, I assume on your way here" He watched recognition light up in her eyes and that flush creep across her cheeks. All he could do was chuckle and stuff his hands in his pockets.  "I didn't come to give you a hard time. I'm kind of addicted to your bagels and coffee" He tipped his head in the direction of the bagel rack
     "Oh man.  I'm so sorry about earlier.  I was running behind...." She caught herself in the middle of the explanation and forced herself to drop it.  "Hey man. On the house.  Please" She stumbled over getting his coffee and bagel. By the time she'd wrapped it up and returned he'd already tucked a twenty in the tip jar.
     "Well that's very sweet of you Steph." His voice was easy, and deep and calm as he spoke. But he could hear his heart thudding away in his chest a mile a minute.  Then it happened again, she flashed him that brilliant smile as she wished him a great day and apologized again. Time stopped for him. For that brilliant blaze of seconds... could have been hours.  He had no idea what her last sentence had been so he just nodded and ducked back out of the door into the wind, coffee in hand.

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     Raquel came back just in time to see James leave from the counter and head back out onto the street. The bounce of his dark brown curls of his pony tail across the lapel of his jacket. Those dark eyes looking back just as he passed the window. "Someone has a crush." She said very low, and suspiciously close to Steph's ear. Making her jump and spill her own coffee across her apron.
     "You ass." She took a deep breath and tossed the apron to the side and snagged another.  "Besides, I don't know who he is. Never seen him before. "  She bit her bottom lip thinking about the exchange at the counter and the way he seemed very familiar.
     "You're absolutely hopeless.  That guys in here nearly every day." Raquel shook her head and pushed past steph to go wipe down the counter. "He's handsome, you should ask him out." Her face spread in a wide mischievous smile. "When was the last time you even got laid Steph?" She ducked as a hand towel barreled its way through the air towards her.
     "None of your damn business little one" She tried to sound stern but it came out with a bubble of laughter. "Probably far longer than I want to admit out loud" She reached up to straighten her name tag and realized it wasn't there.  She walked to her grab her coffee covered apron to retrieve it.
     "Well I might have me a date tonight" Raquel did her favorite eyebrow wiggle and held up the ten dollar tip she received earlier from one of the three customers when she'd arrived, and there were numbers and a heart scrawled in marker across it.
     "Well.. if that isn't classy" She plucked her old apron from the hamper and hunted for her tag. Nowhere to be seen. "Quell have you seen my tag?" She touched her pants pockets double checking.
     "Counter in the back covered in flower you clutz" she called over her shoulder.
     He knew her name. She lifted her hand to where the tag should be, and her fingers played at the strap while her brain fiddled with the thought. "Thanks." she said absently.

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    Hopefully I'll finish this later.  I can see the story unfolding in my noggin. but my typing skills are quickly diminishing for the night. brain turning to jello.
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Happy Tree Friends.

Absolute Drunken silliness on New Years. 

One of the best times of my life.  I spent it with the most perfect person for me. 

I met the most brilliant wonderful peoples and ... well just and. ... 

Also... yes. those are pigtails.