About Me

Monday, August 15, 2011

Lost the Dream.

I've broken the promise I made to myself to post here a few times a week.
My catharsis if you will.  My tiny catharsis. *laughs*

Life has been very very strange for me lately.  Some of it disassociation based, Some of it utter confusion.
Like most things, I will remain fairly esoteric about the subject matter.  The nouns and adverbs of the situation don't matter. Mostly just the predicate.

I don't know when I lost my know how.
I thought having been with Ronn was a good thing for me when we were together, however it's not until after the fact when you realize that it messed you up more than was really expected.

So here it is now, I'm alone.  I thought I was strong, but I finally turn to look and my confidence is smashed. Utterly smashed.  A broken mirror around me.  I have the act down superbly.  Everyone thinks/knows That I'm a self confident bitch.  Upright in my proverbial posture. sturdy in herself.  They don't see the thousand sets of half glazed eyes staring back at me from the floor.

Now I need myself. And I'm scattered.  Breathe deep woman.  Call it all to you. The world is mostly held together with spit, luck and duct tape anyhow.

I wanna walk chin up, and mean it.



I've started a painting.  Oils again.  I'll start posting it's progression here shortly.  

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